“I got a HIV related illness, although I didn’t know it at the time. I was incredibly ill for a year- stomach pains, diarrhoea, weight loss. I ended up in hospital. It wasn’t until I was in hospital that the doctor suggested an HIV test. As soon as the doctor came in, it dawned on me it was bad news. But to be honest by then it was almost a relief; it meant they could treat me. I wish I had been diagnosed earlier, I think I was partly in denial. If I’d had a test sooner I wouldn’t have been in hospital. Being that ill has taken a physical toll on my body. They caught it just in time, they told me I could have been blind by April and dead by June. If I could turn back the clock and have a test earlier I would.” – Gary

Next Tuesday (1st December) is World AIDS Day. The theme this year is HIV:reality. Some people with HIV suffer side-effects including nausea, diarrhoea and prolonged headaches. In some cases treatment causes changes in body shape, depression and mental health issues. Other people find they are able to lead a very healthy life with HIV and may not suffer the same side-effects.

To see a full range of  information, people’s HIV stories and HIV myths, visit the National AIDS Trust’s World AIDS Day Page. For details of sexual health services in Milton Keynes, including how to get a free, confidential HIV test, visit our information page. If you just want to talk to someone confidentially, you can get in contact with our counselling service by emailing counselling {at} qalliance.org(.)uk for a free initial appointment or visit the new NHS Choices Sexual Health Advice page to email in specific questions.

This week Richard Solly from Safer MK come to talk to HQMK, our weekly LGBT youth group, about their experiences of homophobia and transphobia. The discussion was productive and enlightening for all involved. The youth were really interested in what he had to say and shared their experiences of homophobia and transphobia in MK  (some of which we will publish on our site over the weekend).

As mentioned last week, Ask Jo is coming back! Our website advice column for LGBT, or questioning, people in MK is back after far too long an absence. If you have a problem or dilemma that you want advice on send an email to jo {at} qalliance.org(.)uk – In the past Jo has helped people with coming out, relationship issues, coping with bullies, how to date well, sex advice and a whole range of other issues. We’re also still looking for more of your coming out stories. Reading other people’s coming out stories is often an essential part of the coming out process; by sharing your experience – good, bad or boring – it can help people prepare to share themselves with the world as well as providing an interesting insight for yourself to see how far you’ve come.

This week was Domestic Abuse Awareness Week. 30% of LGBT people experience violence, abuse or harassment from a family member or someone close to them in their lifetimes. Domestic abuse is not always physical, and that means that the signs may not be obvious. It can involve controlling a person’s contact with their friends and family (isolating them), destroying property, verbal threats in private or public, etc.

Are you age 16 to 21 and want to do something against homophobic bullying? Then take part in Stonewall’s Film Clip Competition and get your message heard across the country! More info on their website.

Have you seen this boy?

Some other things we have linked to on our Facebook and Twitter accounts:

• Family appeals to gay community to find missing son
• Brussels says churches must lift ban on employing homosexuals
• Schoolboy thanks fellow pupils for pointing out his homosexuality
• Short video about new memorial for Freddy Mercury
• Marriage should move with the times
• Milton Keynes Laughter Club info
• Liverpool’s bishops defend gay rights

“Everything we fear in the world & want to change can be transformed through happiness, the simplest desire we have & also the most profound” – Deepak Chopra

Finally, don’t forget that Saturday (the 28th) is another of A Day in Hand’s wonderful Sshh! (Same Sex Hand Holding) days. More info at their site.

Rainbow, the biggest gayest bus in the world outside the British Museum for the LGBT History Month pre-launch

In this posting are some highlights of what our volunteers have been up to in the past week and things that have caught our attention. You can follow our Facebook and Twitter accounts to get the latest from Q:alliance and can check out our Events Calendar to keep up to date with LGBT-focused or related activity in MK.

We went to the LGBT History Month pre-launch on Thursday and learnt lots about some fabulous projects that took place across the country for the last LGBT History Month, as well as hearing some great news about what’ll be happening next February. There’s *lots* of exciting and/or interesting things that’ll be happening in MK -from Q:alliance and others – and we’ll make sure to tell you more about them when things are firmed up. We’ll also link to the presentations we went to when LGBT History Month make them available.

Ask Jo is coming back! Our website advice column for LGBT, or questioning, people in MK is back after far too long an absence. If you have a problem or dilemma that you want advice on send an email to jo {at} qalliance.org(.)uk – In the past Jo has helped people with coming out, relationship issues, coping with bullies, how to date well, sex advice and a whole range of other issues. We’re also looking for more of your coming out stories.

One of our volunteers popped along to CMK Library to see their Out & Proud section, and we asked people for book suggestions we could send the library to make it even better. If you have any suggestions, do email us at info {at} qalliance.org(.)uk or, even better, tell the library service yourself.

Our counsellors have some appointments available. If you want to talk to someone in confidence, or find out more, see our Counselling page.

Today is International Transgender Day of Remembrance. The 20th of November is set aside to memorialise those who are killed due to anti-transgender hatred or prejudice. This year 117 trans people worldwide are known to have been murdered out of hate and ignorance. Many hundreds, if not thousands, more have taken or attempted to take their own lives. In the past two months, two transsexual women have been murdered in the UK – Andrea Waddell from Brighton and Destiny Lauren who was killed in Kentish Town, London…

• Have you been to see your GP recently? Go to www.iwantgreatcare.org to find your GP, and feed back about the care you received. They’re looking for honest, genuine feedback to help improve local NHS services.

• We are SO proud of our HQMK youth group talking to PHSE teachers today! They did an amazing job talking about coming out, sex, love and homophobia.

• Interesting article about gay usernames in gayming – http://bit.ly/8BTmC

• Straight couple looking to show that separate rights aren’t equal rights – article at Towleroad

Gay Folks Night in Milton Keynes last week

• Pictures from last week’s Gay Folks Night event are on our Facebook page.

• Are you affected by HIV/AIDS and live in the MK area? Attend MK Council’s HIV Consultation Event for World AIDS Day – click here for info.

• Order FREE ‘Some people are gay. Get over it!’ materials or purchase a t-shirt or mug for Stonewall’s Anti-Bullying Week campaign at the Stonewall site.

• We were wondering what you thought of the word ‘queer’ – join the discussion on our Facebook fan page.

• Petition to condemn the government of Uganda if they pass the ‘Anti-Homosexuality Bill’ – sign here.

• The video above is the first trailer for ‘FIT’ – Stonewall’s DVD based on the successful play tackling homophobic bullying in schools – Watch out for more info during Anti-Bullying week 16-20 November.

• New facebook group for all lesbian mums out there.

• SSHH! A Silent Revolution in the making – see the forum post here

• Black, gay… and invisible – great article from The Guardian.

Malcolm X

A round-up of what we’ve been posting on our Facebook and Twitter accounts this week…

• Black History Month ‘09 Profile – Malcolm X

• Vigil planned for gay man murdered in Trafalgar Square http://bit.ly/2IjyXb

• New radio drama about Alan Turing available on Saturday the 24th from The Independent – http://bit.ly/NEe0a

• Great blog from Lubin Odana about the Mail and their rules of writing about gays

• More than 22,000 complain to PCC over Stephen Gately piece – The Guardian

• On 6th November 2009, Pink Punters will mark Guy Fawkes/Bonfire Night (and help raise money for Q:alliance) with a new and unique celebration of how much the equality laws have improved – Gay Folks Night – 40 years after the Stonewall Riots – More info here

• Vibe@Springfield is a new, friendly and welcoming LGBT social night starting! Every Wednesday at 8pm in Springfield

• Equality and Human Rights Commission have launched the Trans Research Review

• Would you fight for your right to be offended? – You Tube video

• 5 lesbian and gay documentaries guaranteed to turn you into a gay activist – http://bit.ly/FB9fF

• 1 in 5 LGB people face homophobia in Britain – http://bit.ly/2YYE96

• Congrats to the Daily Mail for running this: http://bit.ly/1lRktS – Janet Street Porter disagrees with Jan Moir

• Life is never boring, but some people choose to be bored… boredom is a choice.

• Brighton man held in police custody over murder of Brighton trans woman – http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/sussex/8312977.stm

• Mental health can affect physical wellbeing, says Mind – http://bit.ly/2NIbZE

• Jan Moir is “the tip of an iceberg”: A history of Daily Mail homophobia – http://bit.ly/3TXm68

• Great article by Charlie Brooker on Jan Moir’s vile homophobic article in the Mail – http://bit.ly/1UJjef

• The always interesting Mark Simpson visits the UK’s first gay night on an army base – http://bit.ly/2aPRgP

• Interesting article on the global struggle for queer freedom - http://bit.ly/oHUOw

• Ugandan MP proposes that gays should be executed - http://bit.ly/stKSU (via @pinknews)

• So… what do we want? Equality? Or Liberation? (or a bit of both?) http://bit.ly/3ZBFqu

• Peter Tatchell writes for the Independent commenting on Britain’s positive strides towards LGBT equality - http://bit.ly/2n9dK0

• Goal Watchers is a new weekly club in Milton Keynes specifically for those who want to instigate changes in their lives - http://bit.ly/36eb7p

• Fab news for the Day in Hand project - http://bit.ly/3VjFcM

• Black History Month ‘09 Profile: RuPaul, singer, actor, drag queen. Quote: “We all came into this world naked. The rest is drag” –  http://bit.ly/odCwr

• Keith Goddard, campaigner for Gays and lesbians of Zimbabwe has died - http://bit.ly/19Rgj0

• The victim of a suspected homophobic attack in Trafalgar Square died in hospital last night - http://bit.ly/3SKVb9

• Why are we not talking about this? http://bit.ly/okp0t

• FANTASTIC report from the EHRC about LGB experience in the UK. If you work or volunteer in any organisation that works with the public, make sure your bosses see this –  http://bit.ly/13L16x

• Speech: Trevor Phillips from yesterday’s launch of ‘Beyond Tolerance: making sexual orientation a public matter’ - http://bit.ly/6Zvee

• A new newsletter for LGBT Mental Health service users, service providers, community groups and interested individuals – http://bit.ly/OGjRH

• The Gay MK email group is abuzz with good feedback about Sunday’s Planet social night! Are you going next month? http://bit.ly/174RqM

• Another great speech from the National Equality March in America – http://bit.ly/TyHwc

• A history of black music – 29th Oct in Christ the Cornerstone CMK - http://bit.ly/CTFmp

• Fantastic speech from Lady Gaga at today’s National Equality March in the US – http://bit.ly/BigId

• Stephen Gately Obituary - http://bit.ly/17qc4h

• Black History Month ‘09 Profile: Zora Neale Hurston – http://bit.ly/MKHJc

• Think of something to let go of – a judgement, a negative feeling – breathe in then breathe out REALLY slowly as you let it go.

• Need to talk to someone about stress, self esteem, drugs, alcohol, body image, workplace issues, the scene, sex or a variety of other issues? Come to Q:alliance counselling –  http://bit.ly/2d9REc

• Black History Month ‘09 Profile: David McAlmont  - http://bit.ly/2kUhmX

• The new LGBT History Month Bulletin is out - http://bit.ly/2qZjev

Homophobic bullying creates an ugly climate of intimidation and can make it harder for young people to come out…. http://bit.ly/4ubZb

• Recession = homophobia… any thoughts? – http://bit.ly/18h9ix

• Relate help build stronger LGBT relationships –  http://bit.ly/4npFkd

• Terrible homophobic attack near Trafalgar Square http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/8288412.stm

• Advice on resolving Gay & Homophopic bullying  - http://twit.ac/pShm

• Black History Month ‘09 Profile: Bessie Smith, aka “The Empress of Blues” – http://bit.ly/1ubmul

• In the UK, African communities are the second most affected communities by HIV. Gay communities are the first.

• Have you signed the petition to include a question on sexual orientation on the 2011 census yet? –  http://bit.ly/2A6Yh2

• Gay football lover? The Gay Football Supporters Network’s mission is to promote the support and participation of gay men and women in football, and to act as a medium for LGBT football supporters to get together - http://bit.ly/ChSPW

• Chris Crocker on the Gay Divide (a great, great video that is well worth a watch)… http://bit.ly/xXE25

• Langston Hughes was the incredibly talented (and closeted) poet who wrote “The Negro Speaks of Rivers”, which… http://bit.ly/JYH0H

• October is Black History Month in the UK. To celebrate we will be linking to profiles of various famous and/or influential black LGBT people throughout the month. If you have suggestions of who we should feature – let us know!

• http://bit.ly/12ndQL

To join us on Facebook, you can become a fan at www.facebook.com/Qalliance, or you can follow us on Twitter at www.twitter.com/Qalliance.

• Tell the BBC to give us at least 1 hour of LGBT programming a week! http://is.gd/3QV7t

• The HQMK youth group are off to see The Rocky Horror Show next week. We have changed our profile pic in honour of this momentous occasion! Find out more about the youth group at http://bit.ly/OXmVN

• A new social group is starting soon in MK (yay!) and are looking for name suggestions. What do you think it should be called?

• Eleven to Sixteen? Check out an essential guide to using the internet - http://bit.ly/eutIc

• Stonewall have recently published an online guide for gay asylum-seekers –  http://bit.ly/2q2NBX

• Our training for professionals looking to support and empower LGBT youth on 14th Oct in CMK has a few spaces left – more details: http://bit.ly/e0hqz

• Got a problem you want to sort out? Need someone to talk to in confidence? Q:alliance offers counselling in Milton Keynes… http://bit.ly/3AQ24k

• We still want your Celebr8 pictures – send them to website {at} qalliance.org(.)uk and tell us if you want credit.

• What do you think of Labour’s exclusion of LGBT people from the anti-harassment clauses of the Equality Bill? Vote here - http://bit.ly/DisZt

• Should gay sports stars come out of the closet? Urm, yes! http://bit.ly/4gcnd

• Gay Education (a funny You Tube video) - http://bit.ly/9ViUG

• Video of a kiss-in in a Parisian shopping centre to combat homophobia… (via Towelroad.com) –  http://bit.ly/bRI4h

• Is it a steakhouse or gay bar – you decide! - http://bit.ly/GtiEz

• He needs regulating -Warren G’s remarks about gay people - http://bit.ly/3LocdF

• Desmond Tutu says that homophobia equals apartheid - http://bit.ly/Ub0uN

• British Government continues to deny gays protection in law! – http://bit.ly/1Uerg8

• A quote: “Some women can’t say the word lesbian… even when their mouth is full of one.”- Kate Clinton

• Training on how to support, enable + include young lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans people on Oct 14th in Milton Keynes – http://is.gd/3F1nF

To join us on Facebook, you can become a fan at www.facebook.com/Qalliance, or you can follow us on Twitter at www.twitter.com/Qalliance.

• Know of anyone that could do with a greater understanding of how to support and empower lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender young people? We have some spaces left on our October the 14th training in CMK – visit Qalliance.org.uk/training for details!

• Here’s a short video of MK council leader’s vision for MK – what do you think?

• Did you know that LGBT young people are more likely to become homeless than their straight friends? If you are, or know someone who is, homeless or in danger of becoming homeless in Milton Keynes the following information may be of help – http://www.milton-keynes.gov.uk/housing-needs/DisplayArticle.asp?ID=17538

• The Citizen has a gallery of Celebr8 pics up on their website

• It’s Celebrate Bisexuality Day in the US today.  AfterElton are celebrating with a list of their 8 favourite male bisexuals – who are yours?

• Great Celebr8 article and pictures in this weeks MK News! Click here to see the e-edition.

• A wonderful article looking at how you can learn to love yourself - http://www.breaktheillusion.com/?p=1805

• Lovely lesbian site – check it out - http://www.lesbilicious.co.uk/

• Latest celebrity coming out – Mika! He’s a lovely bisexual! Who’s next?

• Including a question on sexual orientation in the next Census will end the bizarre state of the LGB community still being an ‘invisible’ minority on what is the one survey which has such a central role in defining our population! Sign the petition here – http://petitions.number10.gov.uk/lgb2011census/ (we also think getting ‘T’ information would be useful!)

To join us on Facebook – become a fan at www.facebook.com/Qalliance.