“I got a HIV related illness, although I didn’t know it at the time. I was incredibly ill for a year- stomach pains, diarrhoea, weight loss. I ended up in hospital. It wasn’t until I was in hospital that the doctor suggested an HIV test. As soon as the doctor came in, it dawned on me it was bad news. But to be honest by then it was almost a relief; it meant they could treat me. I wish I had been diagnosed earlier, I think I was partly in denial. If I’d had a test sooner I wouldn’t have been in hospital. Being that ill has taken a physical toll on my body. They caught it just in time, they told me I could have been blind by April and dead by June. If I could turn back the clock and have a test earlier I would.” – Gary

Next Tuesday (1st December) is World AIDS Day. The theme this year is HIV:reality. Some people with HIV suffer side-effects including nausea, diarrhoea and prolonged headaches. In some cases treatment causes changes in body shape, depression and mental health issues. Other people find they are able to lead a very healthy life with HIV and may not suffer the same side-effects.

To see a full range of  information, people’s HIV stories and HIV myths, visit the National AIDS Trust’s World AIDS Day Page. For details of sexual health services in Milton Keynes, including how to get a free, confidential HIV test, visit our information page. If you just want to talk to someone confidentially, you can get in contact with our counselling service by emailing counselling {at} qalliance.org(.)uk for a free initial appointment or visit the new NHS Choices Sexual Health Advice page to email in specific questions.

This week Richard Solly from Safer MK come to talk to HQMK, our weekly LGBT youth group, about their experiences of homophobia and transphobia. The discussion was productive and enlightening for all involved. The youth were really interested in what he had to say and shared their experiences of homophobia and transphobia in MK  (some of which we will publish on our site over the weekend).

As mentioned last week, Ask Jo is coming back! Our website advice column for LGBT, or questioning, people in MK is back after far too long an absence. If you have a problem or dilemma that you want advice on send an email to jo {at} qalliance.org(.)uk – In the past Jo has helped people with coming out, relationship issues, coping with bullies, how to date well, sex advice and a whole range of other issues. We’re also still looking for more of your coming out stories. Reading other people’s coming out stories is often an essential part of the coming out process; by sharing your experience – good, bad or boring – it can help people prepare to share themselves with the world as well as providing an interesting insight for yourself to see how far you’ve come.

This week was Domestic Abuse Awareness Week. 30% of LGBT people experience violence, abuse or harassment from a family member or someone close to them in their lifetimes. Domestic abuse is not always physical, and that means that the signs may not be obvious. It can involve controlling a person’s contact with their friends and family (isolating them), destroying property, verbal threats in private or public, etc.

Are you age 16 to 21 and want to do something against homophobic bullying? Then take part in Stonewall’s Film Clip Competition and get your message heard across the country! More info on their website.

Have you seen this boy?

Some other things we have linked to on our Facebook and Twitter accounts:

• Family appeals to gay community to find missing son
• Brussels says churches must lift ban on employing homosexuals
• Schoolboy thanks fellow pupils for pointing out his homosexuality
• Short video about new memorial for Freddy Mercury
• Marriage should move with the times
• Milton Keynes Laughter Club info
• Liverpool’s bishops defend gay rights

“Everything we fear in the world & want to change can be transformed through happiness, the simplest desire we have & also the most profound” – Deepak Chopra

Finally, don’t forget that Saturday (the 28th) is another of A Day in Hand’s wonderful Sshh! (Same Sex Hand Holding) days. More info at their site.

Rainbow, the biggest gayest bus in the world outside the British Museum for the LGBT History Month pre-launch

In this posting are some highlights of what our volunteers have been up to in the past week and things that have caught our attention. You can follow our Facebook and Twitter accounts to get the latest from Q:alliance and can check out our Events Calendar to keep up to date with LGBT-focused or related activity in MK.

We went to the LGBT History Month pre-launch on Thursday and learnt lots about some fabulous projects that took place across the country for the last LGBT History Month, as well as hearing some great news about what’ll be happening next February. There’s *lots* of exciting and/or interesting things that’ll be happening in MK -from Q:alliance and others – and we’ll make sure to tell you more about them when things are firmed up. We’ll also link to the presentations we went to when LGBT History Month make them available.

Ask Jo is coming back! Our website advice column for LGBT, or questioning, people in MK is back after far too long an absence. If you have a problem or dilemma that you want advice on send an email to jo {at} qalliance.org(.)uk – In the past Jo has helped people with coming out, relationship issues, coping with bullies, how to date well, sex advice and a whole range of other issues. We’re also looking for more of your coming out stories.

One of our volunteers popped along to CMK Library to see their Out & Proud section, and we asked people for book suggestions we could send the library to make it even better. If you have any suggestions, do email us at info {at} qalliance.org(.)uk or, even better, tell the library service yourself.

Our counsellors have some appointments available. If you want to talk to someone in confidence, or find out more, see our Counselling page.

Today is International Transgender Day of Remembrance. The 20th of November is set aside to memorialise those who are killed due to anti-transgender hatred or prejudice. This year 117 trans people worldwide are known to have been murdered out of hate and ignorance. Many hundreds, if not thousands, more have taken or attempted to take their own lives. In the past two months, two transsexual women have been murdered in the UK – Andrea Waddell from Brighton and Destiny Lauren who was killed in Kentish Town, London…

In response to this, and the rise in the number of homophobic attacks in the UK and previous hate attacks, a vigil has been organised in Trafalgar Square for this Friday 30th October 2009, 8pm. If you are unable to make it to London, Pink Punters in Milton Keynes will be hosting a candle-lit vigil from 8.45pm – 9.15pm, observing the two minute silence from 9pm with a live video link from Rainbow at Trafalgar Square.

The London event is being organised by 17-24-30. Their aim for the vigil is to show the world that this anti-sociable behaviour is unacceptable.

For further details about the London event, join the group on Facebook.

17-24-30 have said, “It’s important that you join in, because this wasn’t just a homophobic attack. It was an attack on everyone’s right to walk through their city without fear of attack. This is about everyone, straight and gay.”

Please also help to publicise the event within any social network sites and groups you belong to and amongst your friends. The organisers have produced a NO TO HATE CRIME poster which you should feel free to use and distribute to everyone you know.

Pink Punters, Rainbow, Rainbow Village and Rainbow Crew are playing a major supporting role at this event expected to host some 10,000 people.

All venues and groups accross the UK are being asked to observe the two minute silence.

A Day In Hand announces the second ever international same-sex hand holding (Sshh!) Saturday on October 31st 2009. On this day, same-sex couples and friends all over the world are encouraged to hold hands in public to support the visibility of Lesbian, Gay, Bi, Trans (LGBT) people. This is a revolutionary way of encouraging and inspiring LGBT people to take responsibility for their equality and live their lives without fear or restraint.

David Watkins, A Day In Founder was recently recognised by Gordon Brown, UK Prime Minister as an award winning activist in his field, with the Sheila Mckechnie Foundation

Watkins says, “Sshh! Saturdays aim to ultimately create safer spaces for LGBT people. The last Saturday of every month should become a day of support for LGBT people who want to show their commitment in public. Many years ago in the UK, LGBT people knew that the last carriage of every train would be populated by members of the queer community. Today, A Day In Hand wants people to feel the same sense of support in public spaces on the last Saturday of every month.” Sshh! Saturdays are easily organised wherever you are. They are not prides or rallies. It only requires 2 people of the same sex to hold hands to make a Sshh! Saturday. The images sent to yourstories {at} adayinhand(.)com will be spread throughout the world via our website .

Visibility of same-sex love is particularly important so that LGBT people become part of the cultural fabric of people’s lives. Watkins adds “Same-sex hand holding (Sshh!) is a silent revolution for LGBT people, because nothing needs to be said: no bold speeches, no reactive arguments, no war of words. Each LGBT person has the power to change the hearts and minds of people in their local community quietly, subtly, by simply holding hands publicly and owning their space. However, hand holding is a simple powerful gesture that can happen anywhere, at any time.” In areas of the world where it is impossible for LGBT to hold hands publicly, we call on people to send messages of support to our website on Sshh! Saturdays, and send in their photos of them holding hands, in public or private to us.

For more information about this briliant project, check out their website www.adayinhand.com.

As part of their strategy for developing the network they have produced the first of a series of newsletters which you can download here. For the next issue they are on the lookout for article submissions, so do get in touch with them if you would like to contribute.

Stonewall today publishes a 10 point plain English guide to help employers and service providers explain to their staff and service users why monitoring information is being collected. ‘What’s it got to do with you?’ explains why a range of data – such as age, gender, sexual orientation and belief – may now be requested, and what the benefit is. With many organisations anticipating new measures in the Equality Bill ‘What’s it got to do with you?’ makes the case for monitoring across all equality characteristics.

For more information, and to download the guide, visit the Stonewall site.

Trans DA Survey.doc (494KB).

It was founded by Louis Georges Tin in 2005. Campaigns and Inititives take place on or around May 17th every year to combat prejudice against LGBT people. May 17th is chosen because it marks the anniversary of the day in 1990 when the World Health Organisation removed homosexuality from its list of mental diseases. For more information, click here.

Nearly half of the countries in this world criminally ban homosexuality, with at least five countries punishing people convicted of homosexuality with death.  Speaking out against global homophobia is the only surefire way to combat the violence faced by LGBT people in Iraq, Iran, Senegal, Jamaica, in our own communities, and throughout the world.

- Change.org

Today also marks the launch of A Day in Hand in London.

You know that magical feeling you get when you see two women or two men holding hands in public? Imagine if you could see and feel that every day.

A Day In Hand seeks to promote equality for Lesbian, Gay, Bi & Trans (LGBT) people by inspiring same-sex couples across the globe to hold hands publicly. Anybody, on any day, can take part.

The love and commitment of LGBT couples has no presence in everyday life. Whilst laws are changing, cultural attitudes still need to be addressed. Equal rights are a necessity but we need equal respect too. Hand holding is a simple, liberating gesture that is essential to our communities’ health.

David Watkins, group founder answers questions:

Can straight people get involved?
You don’t have to be gay to object to homophobia. We are asking straight people to hold hands with someone of their same gender in public, and describe how it made them feel. This is an inclusive event and involving straight people will support a wider understanding of this issue.

Who is behind the campaign?
Celebrities and public figures have been quick to get involved. Brian Paddick (I’m A Celebrity…) appeared in a photoshoot for the project, and activists Cleve Jones (Harvey Milk’s aide) and Peter Tatchell support the campaign.

Why same-sex hand-holding?
We believe increasing visibility of LGBT people through hand holding will change the way communities understand LGBT people and their relationships.

What can I do?
A Day In Hand is asking people to upload photos of same-sex hand-holding to www.adayinhand.com, register on the site and spread the word.

A Day In Hand will launch at XXL Club, London Bridge 1-4pm on 17 May 2009, the International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia (IDAHO). Register on the website to receive more information as this becomes available.